7/11/26 12:42am images presented by order of which they were found, first to last.

















7/10/26 11:47pm WEREWOLFPOSTING



o my god did u know that when u transform into a fucking monster of the night it feels like ur heart is gonna POP open ????????? awoooo



can someone pls alert my handler

7/5/26 3:09pm pain



the endometriosis and autoimmune disorders are interlinked, i learned recently. i learned this and still i hoped this month would be different. and it is, to some extent. i learned how to avoid certain inflammatory responses and pains, which has helped immensely. but still i must yield to exhaustion and an utter lack of focus.



i’ve realized that, in hoping for a radical change this month, i’ve been running from myself. the hope itself is not bad, but i’ve been unintentionally using it as a vehicle to escape certain issues. i cannot fault myself for this; in the longstanding turbulence and confusion, i could not find another way before. but now i understand. i will not be able to work with my body, my exhaustion, my illnesses, until i stop allowing them to make me feel subhuman, shameful, worthless. i cannot escape the lesson without mastering this. it will keep repeating until i do.



one day i will not be chained to my bed just because i got my period. one day i will find a proper way to manage flare ups. but for now, i have to allow myself to rest. for now, i have to find a way to stop punching myself while i’m down. being unkind to myself will only cause more problems. logically i understand this, but muscle memory does not operate from logic or truth. i wonder how i can get around my current wiring. it obstructs the kindness from being administered.

7/4/26 1:21am zzzzz



on my period



this shi is whack



affirmation: it’s ok to feel scared, but soon i will understand why there’s no need to.

(spawned into my brain a couple weeks ago like a gift from angels. it has been such good medicine. i return to it as needed).

7/2/26 4:54pm l x v e



today i saw an F Scott Fitzgerald quote:



“They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered.”



and out of context, this is true for us, and Thank God.



Daddy i could never recover from it i am meant to drink it.

7/2/26 4:32pm loveposting



He is only away for a little while, but his absence stings my nerves. I sink deeper into an ever-growing pool of affection, not to find relief until it can be poured into him. The fluid is alive like mercury, fighting containment. The current is rough but it brings me gratitude. Its activation has been a perpetual reminder that I have found my fated match— and one I would choose on my own, every time, all the same.

6/10/26 1:34pm loveposting



I don't think I'd written a poem since middle school. Lyrics, sure, but not poems. I roped words into music because I needed sound to add interest. This symptom arose around age 14, when I found that life had lost most of its wonder.



But yesterday, to my surprise, poetry was calling me. I wrote about you. I tapped out the words in my notes app, chiseling them out until they appropriately conveyed the beauty you bring to me.



In love I have been changed.

In love I can spin 10 lines of words into something beautiful.

6/08/26 2:04am sleepyposting



At midnight I started dying a wig so I can look very emo at a concert tomorrow. The dye has to process for 25 more minutes before I can rinse it out.



My baby is far away right now and there are so many things I didn't get to tell him. I think I talk too much anyway, but he's never complained.

6/05/2026 1:57pm calmposting



the reason i write the dates in the wrong format is because i wrote the first one wrong and decided to keep doing it but i keep thinking about changing all of them because i have OCD. if, by the time u read this, the dates are in the correct format, we will know if the OCD won.



i have recovered from being very angry from my jarring wakeup call this morning (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`) things are not as rude as i initially thought~ it was just a bit too much to process immediately out of my slumber.



things hurt sometimes but it'll be okay. i'm smart, i'm healing, i'm brave, and i'm loved.

6/05/2026 12:41pm pissedmaxxing



hoes will see me starting to recover from a rough week and then gimme some more shit to think about at 6:30am. SIX. THIRTY. AM.



no genuinely though they got 30 mins before i start wreckin i s2g because WHY are u making this MY problem????

6/02/2026 8:05pm factsposting



>absolutely no fuckshit formed against me shall prosper





>h8ers mad cause pussy talented, it do cartwheels

>i actually don't know

>but probably

6/01/2026 7:06pm loveposting



Somehow I suspect that my love doesn't understand how beautiful he is. I don't know why because this seems impossible to me. He is brighter than the sun. I refrain from showering him in compliments because I don't want it to become too repetetive, too redundant, or to come across as meaningless. But I think about doing it all the time. ALL the time. On all levels, from atomic to infinity, I adore him.

5/31/26 9:17pm ??????posting



At the moment, in America, "good work ethic" means suffering. And having good work ethic is a societal indicator of value.



"Good work ethic" means suffering, even to those who aren't burdened by mental or physical issues. I am not one of these people.



Earlier I thought, "if I weren't lucky enough to have my current job, I wouldn't be able to take breaks like this. I wouldn't be able to rest. I would have to force myself to push through. Some people have to do that."



And this is correct. Some people do have to push through. I was one of them. Had I forgotten?



"I would have to force myself to push through. Some people have to do that." A thought that implies I should subject myself to more pain and self-destruction when I do not have to.



Why do we feel the need to whittle ourselves away instead of replenishing and strengthening?



If I am fortunate enough to be under less pressure now, it likely means I'm not supposed to experience that anymore.



My soul remembers that I suffered until I could achieve this stillness in order to bring myself stability. My muscles, however, remember the cycle of endless burnout I endured as a means of survival. My organs remember the shame placed upon me by people who A) neglected me, B) abandoned me, or C) shouldn't have been so concerned.

5/30/26 7:01pm ??????posting



I think me and my baby are perpetually a bit scared of disappointing each other.



But it's okay cause I don't really believe that we will.



Fears are *very* distracting, but they are not the truth.



(edit ~ it is possible that i am the only one afraid to disappoint the other (^_^*))

5/30/26 2:59pm ?????posting



me: feeling guilty about being tired won't make u less tired



me: transmute your shame you stupid tired girl



me: calling yourself stupid won't make you less ashamed



me: ( ꒦ິ ཀ ꒦ິ )



me: take time to recharge or extend your suffering



me: ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽



painnnn



cannot let the shame & guilt control me~ must heal instead~



the blue moon occurs in sagittarius tonight at 4:44am. it will likely overwhelm me for a moment. full moons usually do. energetic waste makes dramatic exits.

5/29/26 11:13am holyposting



The way I crave him would be considered sinful to the church despite being offered as a sacred divinity by God.

5/28/26 6:30pm holyposting



Dear God,



Please deliver me the avalanche of treats that u and I both know is long overdue. I am you. You are we. We are you. Lift the torments from my body. As ur princess I expect u will prioritize this. I see u workin to righteously reestablish the juiciness of my boobs after they'd been deminished by my putrid health for many moons. I am pleased by your efforts. I trust that different types of softness and beauty will appear in other areas of my life as well. Deliver them painlessly into my outstretched hand and grant me the clarity to build from their foundation. Allow me to experience joys as profoundly as I have experienced pains. Let the pains be outnumbered by the joys; let the pains understand their new and pemanent place as subordinates. Regulate me and balance me inside and out; I will need this to move with the current.



The breeze whispered to me in the park and I whisper to you through electric currents. I'm happy we can reach each other.



With Love & Gratitude,

Athena

5/28/26 12:26am ??????posting



Today I went to the mall witb my friend. A very bizarre thing happened. A girl coming down the escalator side-eyed me as i went up the other side. I glanced away to look at my friend but past him, in my peripheral, I could still see the side-eye. It was not subtle. It was maybe the most bombastic side-eye u can imagine (this says a lot coming from me because I am a 5'11 woman, built like a nord. I get looks, but this was some extra bonk Blaire Waldorf type ish).



I side-eyed her back, squinting. I almost laughed, but neither of us broke until finally I passed her. It was only half an escalator-ride long, but this feels like 7 years when you're having a glaring contrst with a stranger. I wondered what she did that for. She looked really young. A lot younger than me. Maybe late teens or very early 20s. Sometimes they think I'm one of them because of my youthful appearance and aura. I am 27. I am too old for this shit. But I engaged in battle for the plot (please refer back to my youthful aura ˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚). I wondered if maybe my hair was a mess, but it was not. There were no major discrepancies in my appearance, and I wasn't even wearing one of my lil outfits. I was wearing yoga pants and a cami. One of my most normiecore looks. Maybe I was a social experiment.



My strange/unpleasant experiences with strangers in the wild have been absolutely ratioing the posi stranger experiences. It'S mY SaTuRn ReTuRn€#€#€}

5/27/26 12:23am ANGSTPOSTING



I know I’m “hot” but I want ppl to stop lookin at me like I’m a piece of ass.



I don’t see me like a piece of ass.



I’m “hot” and “sensual” (SOMETIMES) and I am art.



U horny about those ancient naked statues too??



Damn.



I express through my emotional, mental, and sensual experiences, and they wanna shoot their shot like it’s ABOUT THEM????



who tf are tHEY????



Sometimes they look past my person entirely and project their desires onto my physical form. Sometimes they consider who I am and think I would be an exotic addition to their collection; a trophy.



What the hell do u think u can offer me??? oh, u did not think about it.



When I turned u down with grace u disengaged. Do u not respect me enough to socialize with me without the chance for sexual gratification?



Pests.



Those who do not disengage will often await a chance that hasn't found them (and never will).



As far as I’m concerned, my lover is the only one who should be lookin at me lustfully. Everyone else is browsing in the museum. Only we can live in the painting.



(damn can i just live and be treated like a person without having to delete my personality?)



((it is my saturn return and i live on the saturn line on my astrocartography map. i will be relocating. maybe then it won't be so difficult to have friends or feel soft humanity))